


Hey Neighbour!

by QueenVulca



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Birthday Presents, Crooks the match maker, F/M, Gentleman in RL/Sailor inside the head, Goofy Theo, Hermione the gorgeous and smart, Neighbour AU, OOC, Theo the awkward banana, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 13:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20259073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenVulca/pseuds/QueenVulca
Summary: Theo just wanted to be a good Samaritan. He didn't realise his good deed would get him such a sweet reward.





	Hey Neighbour!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WinchesterGranger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchesterGranger/gifts).

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU  
Happy birthday, dear lovely,  
Happy birthday to you.  
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

* * *

He could have easily got the best studio apartment all for himself on the basis of his pocket money’ that he ‘gets’. He’s a rich kid waiting in the wings- the next in line to take over his father’s business. So getting the apartment near his Uni was seen by his father as his rebellion phase. It was seen by his mum with a disapproval and by his friends as a ‘we own the world’ statement.

Everything was fine until today morning when his mum called him in her favourite solarium and handed him the paper that stated that he was the proud owner of a twenty nine floor high rise in Hogsmeade.

“The only way I can accept your decision to live in Hogsmeade was this…” Antonia declared sipping her Darjeeling tea from her afternoon special gold rimmed bone china cup. His mum has always been one who appreciates the finer things in life. And him.

“I cannot fathom why you would want to live like that,” she scrunched up her nose as she said, “Perhaps it is some new fad that you young people want to hop onto,” she quickly began, not allowing him to speak. “I do not want you to think that your mum does not understand you. I am here for you. So accept this as my gift to you for a smoother student life. Be a good landlord,” she laughed over her canapes.

Theo smiled at his mum warmly.

* * *

His high rise cheap apartments were a hit among his ‘peers’. Theo later on went ahead and got a couple more high rises to his name. It was a good housing option for the broke college goers and it was a nice business plan for him. Starting out young, like his father complimented him last week.

The least he could do with a silver spoon in his mouth was providing comfort for every student here.

He was absolutely not influenced by the sad rants of the beautiful, curly haired brunette in the coffee shop. Nope, not one bit.

It was divine intervention that made him realise that college students are broke, college students survive on ramen and energy bars, college students are like gollum clutching onto their preciousssss coffee.

He smiled as he recalled the way she was rasping out that ridiculous dialogue. He wished he had seen her face. All he knew about that girl was that hair should be spread out on his bed, gasping in pleasure. Oh and that butt… damn.

Theo had never regret not going after a girl more than this one time. The Gollum girl.

* * *

It was 11am on a Saturday morning when the out of tune song floated to his ears.

_'Yes!’ _

His song bird is on!

His neighbor of two weeks loves to sing on weekend mornings. Last time, he heard the perfect rendition of The Ketchup song abet off tune. On Sunday it was Livin la Vida Loca. The following weekend was Bohemian Rhapsody and Want To Break Free. A Queen special weekend.

Theo went to his tiny hen coop of a balcony to listen to her sing in the shower. No, it's not perverted at all. The building had the same layout with the balcony just next to the bathroom and the walls were thin. He was merely taking advantage of the circumstances without coming off like a creep.

He was never a guy to watch TV or play video games for a long time. He preferred live performances. Some fancy habits do stick around. You can take the tiger out of the jungle but you can’t take the jungle out of the tiger.

He had to strain his ears at first and then it stuck him.

_‘When I dance they call me Macarena _

_And the boys they say que soy buena _

_They all want me _

_They can't have me _

_So they all come and dance beside me _

_Move with me _

_Chant with me _

_And if you're good, I'll take you home with me’ _

Today she was singing Macarena!

How he wished he could met this person. Maybe… he could…

Naah, life was not fortunate all the time. He’ll add her to his list of possible girls whom he could have dated in another life. He shook his head. He was screwed.

* * *

It was two weeks into the semester when Draco and Blaise moved into his apartment. He opened his door and found his friends lounging on his couch with a can of Sprite in their hands.

“I can’t believe soda pop could be this good. This is better than Champagne,” Draco proclaimed.

“That guy has never had a soda pop,” Blaise commented, “We are fancy but his family is extra fancy.”

“No need to be so nasty, Nott,” Draco shot back.

“You have fucking peacocks in the garden. You, my pale arse friend, are fancier than the fanciest,” Blaise quipped back.

Draco started ranting about the nobility of his family and other stuff and Theo swiped the can of Sprite run from Draco’s hand. Despite the protest, more like a parrot’s squawk, Theo managed to take the can to the kitchen, pour it in a tall glass, added a spring of crushed mint leaves, nice dash of lime juice, a slice of lemon and crushed ice. Stirred it once, as Draco stared at Theo with dimming wariness, and served it to the startled lad.

“What is this?” Draco questioned, looking into the glass from the bottom.

“Try it, you fucker,” the deemed reply to his query.

Draco took a tiny sip, another and another.

“What the hell? What kind of sorcery is this?” Draco said, looking at the glass like it’s a marvel.

“It’s called Virgin Mojito.”

Blaise’s snickering was not appreciated by Draco. Draco had again taken up arms to nag and rant and nag some more when Theo heard the lines of yet another cheesy 90s pop.

‘She'll make you take your clothes off And go dancing in the rain She'll make you live her crazy life But she'll take away your pain Like a bullet to your brain Come on!’

Terribly off tune but Theo couldn’t help but be reminded of the times he’d requested the RJ to play this song on the radio.

“Is that the song bird you were talking about?” Blaise asked, his grin barely restrained.

“Song bird? More like a song bird being tortured!” Draco scoffed.

“No more Mojitos for you,” Theo declared.

“Hey! You can’t do that!”

“Did it just now,” Theo huffed, hating the way his friend ruined his moment.

So he had a crush on his neighbour who he has never met face to face. Instead, he had grown infatuated with her off tune singing, her tinkling laughter and her silly cooing voice for her cat. Theo knew that cat. Oh he did. A squashed faced, self-entitled, arrogant ginger cat. That bugger always came into his apartment after his mistress left for the day. No wonder he was so fat. But damn that cat was agile and swift despite having five pounds more than what was healthy weight. Theo always made sure he made the cat run for his meal. The laser pointer and the wriggly feather thingy were great investments but the best one was the Amazon cardboard box that came along with his shoes. Cat loved the cardboard box. He wanted to get a cat tree and some more cat toys but that’ll only raise questions and he didn’t want that.

Today was his off day and Theo was going to spend some quality time with Cat.

“I’ve fed you and entertained you. Now buzz off,” Theo declared, subtly turning Draco to face the door.

Blaise winked at Theo and made an exaggerated humping motion as he walked towards the door.

“Entertain, my foot. You’ve given Blaise humpity disease for the day now!” Draco grumbled as he grasped his almost empty glass of Virgin Mojito.

Theo opened the door with a flourish and with the expertise of an old butler, throw the guests out of his house. The day was looking up again.

* * *

They had a lot of fun- Cat chased the laser dot relentlessly till Theo’s arm ached; for a fat cat, he sure was energetic. They had their lunch watching The Mummy and then Cat yowled loudly to be let out. A little walk couldn’t hurt, right? Theo picked up the heavy ball of fluff and razor sharp claws in his arms, Cat glared only once, and locked his door behind him, pocketing the key. A feat in itself.

Theo had only made it down one flight of cats with Cat gliding down the stairs gracefully when that sweet voice gasped, “Crookshanks Granger! What are you doing out of the house?”

Theo looked at the brunette with a head full of curly, wavy hair that only reminded him of bedhead after an amazing tumble between the sheets, flushed cheeks and whiskey brown eyes where he could drown…oh and that full figure on a small frame of hers, he had a thing for curves. Scratch that, natural curves. Not that silicon bullshit that Draco dug.

Then she smiled. He must have fallen down the stairs and broke his neck and this angel was welcoming him into heaven. Oh dear, she smells of crisp, just ripe apples and cinnamon and vanilla… She’s a freaking delicious apple pie that he’d eat all day for the rest of his life if she allowed him. Fuck…

“Hi! Did Crooks annoy you into taking him out for a walk?” she asked, as she tucked that errant curl behind her ears and it sprung out of its place again. She huffed and tucked it again. It lasted for exact two seconds before it sprung out again.

“Leave it like that. Your curls are beautiful,” he gasped as her face reddened with a blush.

_‘What a fucking fucked thing to say! To a pretty lady! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck—’_

“Really? Um…Thanks, I guess,” she said as she again tried reign in the curl then realised what she was doing and dropped it. Crooks meowed loudly once, before trying to climb his mistress and failing because he just wasn’t light enough. She picked him up with her two hands and Cat settled in her arms like a baby as she cooed at him in baby voice; then Cat started purring in response. Theo looked on like the dumb creep he is.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t introduce myself,” she started rambling as she climbed the rest of the stairs between them and stood one step lower than him. She was short. Short, curvy, head full of wild hair, smells so amazing, smile that blows anyone allow, those eyes…those eyes…and Cat’s mum. She’s his walking wet dream. He didn’t realise he was drooling over her until she extended her hand for a handshake. Fucking fuck. He missed her introduction. He stared at her hand, then at her face, then at Cat—Crooksomething in her arms and then back at her face. She was sure strong for cradling Cat in one arm and extending the other for a handshake.

_‘A handshake! I’m supposed to extend my hand and shake it with hers! Move, hand! Move!’ _

His pointer finger twitched a little.

_‘I am fucked.’_

She was losing that charming smile and he could see the start of a frown on her face.

‘Where are the cheesy lines when I need them?!?!?! This is what happens when rich, entitled guys have girls throwing themselves on me! An emotionally shunted rich boy making a fool of himself in front of his would be love of his life!’

“I am… Cat was being…adorable. Ha ha.”

_‘Someone give him a big round of applause for the fakest laugh in the world.’_

“He is. Aren’t you, you fluffy?” she crooned.

“Mrooowl.”

“I’m Theo Not—tingham,” he introduced himself and extended his hand this time.

_‘Amazing save there, Theo! These apartments are after all called Nott Co.’_

She smiled and repeated, “I’m Hermione, Crooks’ mum.”

‘GAME TIME!’

As soon as she put her hand in his, he turned it around and placed a chaste kiss on her knuckles, “A pleasure to meet you, Hermione.”

Theo would kill for that blush that Hermione sported right now.

Hermione smiled and waved him bye, Crooks purring in her arms. Theo waved at her, watching her climb up the stairs past him to the upper floors. As she turned, she gave him a smile and disappeared from his view. Theo knew he was sporting a huge grin. He was still standing on the stair facing the direction where Hermione went when,

“Oi you, stop drooling. You’re better than that,” Blaise cut in Theo’s musings.

He needs a break.

* * *

Like a bloody idiot he had forgotten to ask for Hermione’s number or her apartment number. He had tried following Crooks to his mum’s apartment but that little graceful shit was using the fire staircase. And he wasn’t brave enough to use the rickety things. Just that was his next to-do for this building. He had to wait a whole week for yet another encounter at the stairs. His song bird next door didn’t cheer him up like she used to. His heart was on his sexy apple pie bae. But on his day off, she wasn’t there. He sadly walked down the stairs.

_‘Might as well get some exercise.’_

He plugged in his earphones, music on high, hoodie over his face. Someone stepped in front of him, so he slid to the left. But even that person slide to the left. So Thoe slid to the right but that person also slid to the right.

To the left, to the right, to the right, to the left, to the left, to the right again. And Theo stopped and looked up. Hermione’s bemused face stared back at him.

_‘It’ll be very nice if I can slip in some Tumblr worthy cheesy line. God, I need help.’_

“Why don’t we discuss who should take which side on the stairs over coffee?” Theo suggested as he hoped the look he was sporting was a sexy one.

Hermione seemed to ponder over it for a moment, as her teeth dutifully fretted over the bottom lip. Did this girl even know the effect she had on him?

“Okay, lead the way,” she replied.

Theo managed to not dance a victory dance. Instead like a smooth talker, he offered his arm to the lady and down they walked to his favourite coffee shop. He could see this as a start of a beautiful relationship. He knew it in his bones. 

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> To Be Continued...  
😉


End file.
